I saw “Barbie” on July 29, 2023. The film, an artistic masterpiece in every sense of the term, induces profound thought and reflection in its viewers through a combination of comedic, dramatic, tragic, and entertaining methods. This is not easy to do. After some thinking on my part, I decided that it would be worth taking time to write down my own reflections and sharing them with the wider public. I’m doing so because, for one, I think might be able to summarize a lot of the great thematic and plot points in the movie for the benefit of people whose minds are still swirling from the intense philosophical and narrative bombardments that Barbie delivers within its relatively short showtime span. In some sense, the ultimate purpose of any movie review is to (try to) succinctly encapsulate the strengths and flaws of their target film for past audience members who are still processing what they witnessed. Second, I think what I have to say might and could be amusing for some. 

NOTE: This review, of course, contains spoilers, so please do not read further if you have not yet seen Barbie and do not want to be informed of important plot details before doing so. Furthermore, most of this was written in what is known as “stream of consciousness” style, so be forewarned that this is going to be long. I want to express my thanks ahead of time for any readers to take the time to fully read what I wrote. 

So, I went to see Barbie not knowing much about it. I knew the basic outline after having seen trailers for it, and I had a vague idea that the movie would touch upon topics like gender equality and feminism. So, I was completely taken aback and (pleasantly) surprised when I discovered that this film – whose story is premised on a line of plastic dolls and toy accessories – is the social commentary tour de force that it is. For better or worse, I watch a lot of movies and television, and Barbie is the first movie in a long time – maybe the first time ever – where I both cried and laughed. 

Now, I’ll be honest that I did go through a bit of personal drama beforehand that did put me in a particularly emotional state of mind that made Barbie more receptive to me. That said, me having been in a weird state of emotions prior to watching Barbie allowed me the ability to understand and appreciate it much more than I would otherwise. In general, it is amazing that a film based on dolls would be able to deliver such powerful and innovative perspectives into such a wide variety of topics, including but not limited to toxic masculinity, destructive gender roles, war, the bonds between mother and daughter, and a fragile optimism for the human condition. But Barbie did it. 

Even if you can’t be bothered (or are unable to) comprehend or pay attention to the rich tapestry of social commentary woven into Barbie, it’s just such a fun movie even on a superficial level. The soundtrack is just so complementary to the film’s story, as notably demonstrated with Dua Lipa’s “Dance the Night” single. The dance scenes (particularly the ending dance with all the Kens) are spectacularly choreographed, and the costuming by itself uplifts the movie in a cutesy, charming way. 

That said, you really cannot appreciate Barbie without dipping your toes into the ocean of philosophical inquiry it opens to its audiences. This movie did a very well-done job in focusing in on existing patterns of power and behavior in (at least American) society, which it does by optimally exaggerating stereotypes in way where audiences can both comedically enjoy and seriously consider. It’s really easy to screw up the process of comedic narrative exaggeration: if one doesn’t exaggerate a topic too much, then it remains too serious, mundane, and uncomfortable for viewers to giggle at. At the same time, place too much exaggeration on an issue, and it passes a point of absurdity where the implications of the original subject fly over the heads of the audience. 

There are a lot of instances where Barbie just perfectly and smoothly constructs and showcases exaggerated stereotypes that are fun to laugh at and interesting to think about. Two of the more minor (but still well-done) cases would be the Mattel corporate hierarchs and the Allan character (Michael Cera). 

On the former, the writers for Barbie did such a hilarious job in portraying the Mattel company leaders as hapless morons who do the bare minimum in trying to cover their inherent greed with cosmetically good intentions. For example, at the end of the movie, the Mattel CEO (Will Ferrell) initially dismisses Gloria’s (America Ferrera) idea of a “real mom Barbie” doll, but immediately backtracks when one of his side goons informs him that the idea is gaining popularity and traction online. Whether it’s being unable to chase Barbie in a straight line or use an electronic card-activated gate system, the Mattel board leaders help audiences remind ourselves that, however charitable corporate boards might try to illustrate themselves and their companies to the wider public, at the end of the day, corporations are above all else driven and motivated by profit. 

The latter mention, Allan, doesn’t have a lot of screen time. Nonetheless, his inclusion into the film (briefly) opens the door into the topic of the so-called “beta males”. It was both cute and amusing that director Greta Gerwig and her team of writers decided to include a male character that not only thrives in a subordinate, submissive role in the seemingly utopian matriarchy of Barbieland, but actively desires to remain in that role. For example, after Ken (Ryan Gosling) inherently changes the composition of Barbieland by importing and imposing patriarchy, Allan desperately tries to leave for the “real world” with Gloria and her daughter, Sasha (Ariana Greenblatt). As easy it is to mock Allan (and by default Michael Cera) as much less physically impressive and a seemingly wimpier male compared to the wide variety of Kens, in the end it’s Allan who ends up having the last laugh. When trying to leave Barbieland, Allan is confronted by a gang of muscular Kens who try to prevent him from doing so. Instead of being beat up by the much more physically prominent Kens, Allan, remarkably, ends up kicking all their asses. 

While it’s certainly fun to see Michael Cera beat the crap out of a retinue of macho Ken characters, I think the film is trying to tell us that, ironically, it might be the beta males in society that end up being more successful and thriving than the so-called “alpha males” (in this case the Kens). Even though Allan, as being physically weaker than the Kens, should have been demolished by his Ken antagonists, he possesses some quality that allows him to reverse the situation to his benefit. Now, the Barbie movie doesn’t make it clear what that quality in the supposed beta males might be. I’m going to go on a limb and suggest the film might be telling us that men who assume a more subordinate role in their relations to women may, ironically, outlast the supposed alphas by continuing to remain in a recognizable relationship with their female partners (whereas the alphas, despite their physical prowess, end up being alone). Now, I’m not sure that this is actually the case in real life, nor do I suggest or recommend that men in general try to adopt some form of "beta male living". But I think this is something that the writers are trying to hint at.

A short honorable mention in the exaggerated stereotype category would be Ryan Piers Williams’ (who is America Ferrera’s husband in reality, cool fact) cameo role as a clumsy, middle-class, white dad attempting to learn more and connect with his non-white wife’s culture. Despite his good intentions and effort, he does so very poorly, and that’s just kind of funny. 

Of course, the major stereotype powerhouse that left the greatest impression (on me) is the Ken played by Ryan Gosling (who for clarity, given that they are many Kens, I’ll call “Blonde Ken”). That the best depiction of an exaggerated stereotype is Blonde Ken is by no means an objective statement. Barbie is very much in contrast to other films from this summer in that audience members are going to be very differently affected and form nuanced takeaways to the film based on their backgrounds (namely gender). Both men and women are able to laugh at the exaggerated gender stereotypes and absurdist depictions of patriarchal power. However, I would be daft in saying that my understandings (as a man) and reception to the movie can and will be the same as female viewers. Obviously, the central character of the movie is Stereotypical Barbie (Margot Robbie). However, I don’t think it would be wild to say that the potential and ability for Stereotypical Barbie to influence and impact women is much greater than that for men. This isn’t because Stereotypical Barbie isn’t well written as a character or because Margot Robbie did a bad job playing the role (in fact, the opposite, she did a stellar job). It’s because I’m a heterosexual guy, and so the philosophical musings that accompany Blonde Ken had and have a much greater implication for me than those that accompany Stereotypical Barbie. Let me go into why. 

NOTE: Just briefly, while I do maintain that the audience members with the highest potential to gain from the philosophy behind Blonde Ken’s character are heterosexual men, I do think there is room to include homosexual, bisexual, and queer men in the picture. Obviously, Blonde Ken is contrasted to Stereotypical Barbie, and much of the plot centers on his (vain) attempts to garner her attention. In other words, there’s heterosexual sexual tension. That said, in addition to the numerous instances of flagrant homoeroticism amongst the Kens, there are moments in Barbie where Blonde Ken’s sexuality is open to ambiguous interpretation. I can think of two moments. First, that scene early on in Barbie where Blonde Ken gets into a heated debate with Tourist Ken (Simu Liu), and they both started threatening to “beach each other off” (obviously a sexual innuendo). Second, that last dance scene with all the Kens towards the end of the movie, which includes a brief scene where two other Kens kiss Blonde Ken on his cheeks. This is all to say that while most of what I have to say about the relevance and power of Ken’s character is most meaningful to heterosexual men, and it can (to varying degrees) also apply to homosexual, bisexual, and queer men as well. 

Alright, so before I can dive into the significance of Blonde Ken for heterosexual male viewers (particularly those who are single), I have to provide some context on the personal drama I had in the week leading up to me seeing Barbie. Long story short, I briefly saw and had a few dates with a woman (to respect her privacy, I’ll call her “X”) for part of July. X and I hit it off very easily and quickly. We both had similar senses of humor, were able to easily venture into silly and intellectual banter, and we’re both Jewish, so she and I were able to connect and comment on shared cultural and religious topics. Unfortunately, for reasons I won’t elaborate on, she decided to cut things off. This is all to say that when I went to see Barbie, I was still feeling a bit bummed out. Not even because I lost out on a potential romantic partner. Physical intimacy and romance are definitely a plus, but honestly, I wasn’t sad that I lost out on those. I was sad, because at the end of the day, all I really wanted to do was to talk with X, see her smile, and make her laugh. Yes, she is beautiful and I certainly felt physically attracted to her. But her physical beauty isn’t what mesmerized me. It’s difficult to describe with words, but it was the feeling, in the moment of exchanging jokes and intellectual banter, of being emotionally invested in making someone feel happy that I really liked. She had an “aura of beauty” about her whenever I interacted with her that I really admired. So, when she cut things off with me, I forever lost the ability to experience that aura of beauty again. So, when I went to go see Barbie, I was still confronting this very recently developed reality. 

This is where the brilliance of Blonde Ken’s character came into play. 

At the end of Barbie, Blonde Ken tries one last time to make a romantic appeal to Stereotypical Barbie. He fails miserably, and starts to mop about it in front of her. But then Stereotypical Barbie does something interesting. She doesn’t give into Blonde Ken’s immature, man-child behavior and agree to be with him (as one would perhaps expect her to do in the patriarchal system that Ken built), but rather helps him realize that he doesn’t need her to live a full life. Yes, canonically speaking, the Ken dolls are basically just accessories for the Barbie dolls. One of the fascinating and beautiful aspects of the Barbie movie, however, is that in deconstructing the patriarchal system that Blonde Ken brings to Barbieland, Barbie empowers both herself and Blonde Ken. She’s true to herself in that she doesn’t confine herself to being in a relationship with someone else merely for the sake of that other person, but she also goes out of her way to help Blonde Ken recognize that the is an independent, autonomous person in of himself. It’s not “It’s Barbie and Ken”, but rather “It’s Barbie and it’s Ken”. 

To understand the full beauty of what Barbie does for Blonde Ken, let’s refresh ourselves on who Blonde Ken is and what he did up until that point. In the beginning of the movie, Blonde Ken is literally introduced to us as someone who’s entire existence and meaning hinges on getting attention from Barbie. Whenever he doesn’t have Barbie’s attention (which is most of the time), he feels bad. Stereotypical Barbie is clearly not into him, and so his existence vacillates between brief smatterings of hope to the more commonly-occurring moments of despair and anguish. So, when Blonde Ken goes to the real world and discovers patriarchy, he is elated for two reasons. First, he wandered into a world where men command power (whereas in Barbieland they are second-class citizens in an unequal matriarchy), but also because he realizes that he can create a system where can obtain Barbie’s attention through force. If Blonde Ken can’t get Barbie’s attention voluntarily, he learns he can just create an oppressive social system where she has to give him that attention due to coercion and brainwashing. This plot point is fascinating because it claims that patriarchy, in essence, basically derives from and systematically manifests childish demands for female attention and male insecurity about sexual prospects. Maybe there’s some Freudian aspect to this we could dive even deeper into, but I’m not going to do so because I don’t want to go on a tangent.

But what’s really interesting here is that Blonde Ken is never truly happy. By creating a patriarchal system where both men and women are locked into limited gender roles, Blonde Ken unintentionally ends up trapping himself in his own restrictive social prism. He creates a reality for himself where his own desire for Barbie (though Blonde Ken doesn’t actually know about sex in the movie, it’s clearly inferred to be sexual) limits his own ability to be free and true to himself. For example, when Stereotypical Barbie enacts a plan to play the Kens off each other by fomenting sexual jealousy, she does so by agreeing to listen to Blonde Ken sing and play a song on his guitar. After they do so for four hours on the beach, the camera then pans out to reveal that an array of other Barbies are doing the exact same thing with the other Kens, who are all playing and singing the same stupid song. Despite his best intentions to be creative, artistic, and original, Blonde Ken ends up producing a cliche. He does so, because within the patriarchal system that he created, everything he does has to be redundant and unoriginal so that it doesn’t trigger or threaten the fragile (but still repressive) gender roles that the patriarchy depends upon. In other words, Blonde Ken can’t be truly unique or original. Even though he seemingly is in charge of the system, it’s actually the system of interlocking gender stereotypes, roles, and double standards that controls him.

Let’s be clear. Though they are both victims of the patriarchy, the Barbies are not equal in their suffering with the Kens. The Barbies clearly have to live in much more diminished and humiliating roles than their Ken counterparts, and when Stereotypical Barbie enters the real world, she is immediately bombarded with harassment in way that Blonde Ken isn’t. 

That said, this is a highly interesting point in that it demonstrates that Blonde Ken, if he lives life where his primal sexual instincts dictate how he acts and behaves, can’t really live a full life. In fact, the opposite. The need to control women ends up being incredibly self-destructive, as evidenced by that whole “battle” scene at the end. Now, the “battle” is very silly in nature, as none of the Kens actually die and no real weapons are used (although one of the Mattel corporate heads who mistakenly wanders onto the battle field somehow gets shot in the arm, haha). However, this brief introspection on the nature of war as a means for men to maintain and/or expand their control on resources (including women and their affection), if it’s something that we’re willing to buy as having even a kernel of truth, elucidates for us the idea that patriarchy not only confines men, but forces them to engage in dangerous and destructive acts with each other. 

It’s not until Barbie gives Blonde Ken his ultimate epiphany – that he doesn’t have to define his life based on his sexuality and whether or not he is successful in gaining sexual attention – that is then able to free himself of the bondage of his own sexual instincts. At the end, he finally discovers that he, just in of himself, can be “Kenough”. 

For me, this was a wakeup call. Just as Blonde Ken was determined to gain Barbie’s attention, much of my life has been trying to court women. Just as Blonde Ken thought that getting Barbie’s attention would give meaning to his life, I’ve (stupidly) kept pursuing women in the hopes that this will make me feel better overall. To date, it has not. 

Anyways, Blonde Ken helped me wake up. Blonde Ken helped me realize the fact that I don’t need to live my life around trying to gain female attention so that I can enjoy “auras of beauty”. I don’t need to attention from women to feel happy and experience beauty. 

Since watching Barbie, I’ve reflected on/thought of topics and activities that I can learn more about/do by myself to also experience different types of auras of beauty. Just to name a few – 

1. Enjoying the fresh air and sounds of the rippling water at Great Falls in Maryland 
2. Eating savory food with good alcohol 
3. Taking walks in the wooded trails outside my house
4. The legalistic intrigues of the Hebrew Bible 
5. The fascinating debates about the Book of Isaiah 
6. The literary richness of the details that describe Jesus’ humanity and vulnerability in the Agony of Gethsemane 
7. The humorous wit that goes into “South Park” and “Rick and Morty”

Do any of these things by themselves compare to the aura of beauty I experienced with X? Admittedly, no. But, maybe if I do these and other things that I find aesthetically beautiful and philosophically meaningful together more regularly during my leisure time, maybe I can achieve that same level of beauty. Just as Blonde Ken wasted a shit ton of his time pursuing Barbie, I’ve wasted a lot of time trying to court women (if I had spent all the time and money I’ve used on dates and romance on, say, music lessons, I’d probably be a concert pianist by now). But that doesn’t need to be the case going forward. 

My personal idiosyncratic interests aside, the point is that the Barbie movie demonstrates to men that not only do we do not need female attention to feel good about ourselves, but that, when we do have existential angst, our immediate reaction shouldn’t be to try and go out and find women. Our immediate reaction should be to find out more about ourselves, and to see how we can obtain and experience beauty through our own means. I somewhat jokingly thought to myself after the Barbie movie that I should seriously consider a life of asexual abstinence. Maybe the Catholics and Buddhists are onto something with the whole celibacy thing. 

Joking, of course. No, the main message is that once we build ourselves up, reduce (I think it’s impossible to completely eliminate) our personal insecurities, and become more confident in our own destiny and actions, then maybe we should go out and try to find love. Once I become more assured in my own ability to shape my own future, then maybe one day I can find someone who can help me experience the same aura of beauty of I experienced whenever I talked with X. But for now, I need to learn to be cool with just myself. For now, I need to learn to be Kenough. 

Because another truth is that, as much as I sniggered at and mocked the Kens while watching Barbie, as a man, I’m also a Ken. I’m not saying this solely about myself (although it’s certainly true), but rather all men. All men (regardless of where we come from, how we look, and how old we are) have a part of us that is basically a scared, insecure child who is both curious about the world and uncertain about the future. There’s no way to completely eliminate that child-like aspect from our lives. Nor should we want to; being flawed is being human, and sometimes we can best learn about ourselves by revisiting and reflecting upon our flaws. But we certainly need to learn how to manage it. We cannot run rampant in society as immature Kens demanding attention to fulfill our need for existence and meaning if we want said society to exist for the long-term. We need to learn how to learn and manage ourselves, and then ultimately work with women on an equal footing.

On a completely unrelated note (but one that I want to address), I’m generally aware that there is a smattering of people with conservative inclinations (in the American context) that have made various statements condemning the Barbie movie as “anti-mother” and “anti-man”. I’d first like to raise the possibility that some of these political pundits and commentators might be saying these things not because they actually believe this, but rather because they want to appeal to certain socially conservative and reactionary groups in order to expand their influence and businesses. That said, let’s assume that these conservative commentators really think that Barbie is “anti-mother” and “anti-man”. If this is indeed the case, then this is certainly a demonstration of missing the proverbial forest for the tree. Anyone with standard cognitive abilities and the ability to do some basic thinking can quickly realize that this is certainly not the case with Barbie. For the “anti-mother” claim, I’m guessing that this stems from a knee-jerk reaction to seeing the very first scene of Barbie (which is an homage and parody of Stanley Kubrick’s “2001: A Space Odyssey”). The fact that the little girls in this scene are smashing their porcelain dolls isn’t a rejection of the role of motherhood or the film implying that women should do so. No, it’s clearly a tongue-in-cheek rejection of the idea that the only social role for women to aspire to and fulfill in society is inevitable motherhood. The movie is so replete with recognition and admiration for the roles and sacrifices that mothers play in our lives. Whether it’s the relationship between Gloria with Sasha, Gloria’s monologue on the stresses of living as a mother, or the penultimate scene with Ruth and Stereotypical Barbie (which includes a montage of vintage film reels where some mothers play with their daughters), the movie clearly does not belittle or reject the idea of motherhood. In fact, it’s precisely that penultimate scene with Ruth and Barbie (in which the relationship between creator and invention is intermixed with the relationship between mother and daughter) that may prove the most moving of all. It’s when Ruth tells Barbie that she’s done all that she can for her, and now it’s up to Barbie to take charge of her own life, that the audience is very bluntly given the message that, actually, motherhood is rewarding and beautiful. As for the “anti-man” idea; for all the reasons I mentioned earlier, I think the writers and visionaries behind Barbie are clearly invested in helping men as much as they are in women. It’s just flippantly superficial to think that the portrayal of the Kens as immature is a definitive statement on the existence and rights of men. 

Anyways, wrapping up, this movie was good. Like, really good. Like, I think it allowed me to think in new ways that I hadn’t thought of before. Of all the fucking movies that could have possibly impacted me on an emotional and existential level this summer, never did I ever think it would be the one based on a line of plastic dolls that my little sister used to collect when she was in grade school. But, hot damn, Barbie did it. I’ll man up and say it: watching Barbie helped me think of ways that I can be a better person. And if you’re a man struggling with existential angst and sexual frustration – well, I think this movie (if you think about it in the right ways) can help you too. I’m sure that this movie was impactful for women in ways that I can’t imagine (because, well, I’m not a woman). 

But I for sure know that this movie does give men the ability to liberate ourselves from our own self-destructive, embarrassing immaturity, if we give themselves the chance and opportunity to do so. 

This movie is majestic.

For questions, inquiries, or comments on what I wrote, please email me at daniel.silverman@kenough.org