So when Jesus saw his Insta followers gather before him, he went to a mountain and sat down. His Insta followers went with him, and Jesus shot some wise truths. This is what he said:

"Care about poor people, because they deserve kindness. 

Those who cry because they're suffering deserve empathy, and we all should do our best to help them out.

The people we think as "weak" are actually the strongest, as they endure the harshness of life better than anyone else can.

Only those who push themselves to do right things and help others will lead fulfilling lives.

Those who show mercy and compassion to others will receive mercy and compassion from others in return. 

God will bless and show grace to those who lead lives based on doing good.

Those who make peace - the 'peacemakers' - and not those who conquer and do war, will ultimately be remembered by history. Nope, not 'pacemakers', those are for our dads to help them with their hearts. 

Those who are hurt and made fun of for doing good and the right thing will ultimately have the last laugh, as they'll be the ones who will be remembered and enter Heaven. 

If you are hurt, made fun of, and/or insulted for doing good things, have no fear, because your legacy will be remembered and you will enter Heaven, just as others before you have. 

Never forget to keep practice your morality and ethical beliefs. Because you'll be like salt without the salty flavor. And what's salt without the salty flavor? Useless crunchy shit that no one wants. 

People are like lights to the world. We have the capacity to do good, and when we do so we must show others that we can and must do so. Just like it'd be pointless to turn on your phone's flashlight and then hide the light with your thumb, you should demonstrate that you act in loving and righteous ways to other bros. Cuz they'll pay attention, and they'll recognize that you represent God and the universe when you act good. 

I, Jesus, am not a substitute or replacement of the Hebrew Bible (or "Old Testament", whatever you want to call it). So whatever you read about me, or whoever says things about me, remember first and foremost that I am an extension and example of the love and justice that is in the Hebrew Bible. So whatever is written afterwards can't be read in isolation. It has to be read in context and in connection with the Hebrew Bible. If you just focus on whatever sequel comes next, you're doing stuff wrong. Just being faithful and believing in stuff isn't good enough, you gotta live your life fulfilling the commandments of love, justice, and righteousness that are in the Hebrew Bible. 

Murdering people is, of course, a supremely shitty thing to do. But just because you don't do the shittiest of the shitty things that you can do doesn't mean you can get away with doing minor shitty things. Don't insult people, and don't go out of your way to be mean in general. 

Don't pretend to do good things on a superficial level, and then be shitty to people when no one's looking. Don't try to look good in public, and then be a complete asshole in private. 

Relying on lawyers, lawsuits, and courts to settle personal matters should always be a last resort. Cuz that shit can go bad very quickly, and for all you know you'll be the dude that has to pay for shit, depending on what the jury and/or judge rule. So instead of just suing someone when you get into a dispute or calling the cops when someone pisses you off, try to see if you can settle the issue with the person/people you have the problem with. Maybe you can all can come to an agreement without everything getting so heated and personal in court, which it will undoubtedly will, cuz no one likes getting sued, dressing up in formal clothes, and having to spend an entire day in a courtroom. 

DO NOT SPEND YOUR LIFE CHASING SEX. Yes, don't cheat on people, particularly if you're a bro with a girlfriend or wife. But don't commit huge parts of your life and/or make it your life mission to get laid. And if you're spending a shit ton of money on random, useless shit (cars, fancy watches, expensive clothes, etc.) trying to attract the attention of women so you can get laid, then you need to stop doing that. In fact, just throw all that stuff away. It's not worth it, and it'll distract you from the truth: you don't need sex to live a good life. You're more than capable of living a good, happy, fulfilling life based on your own self-confidence and worth, because you, even by yourself, are enough. You are Kenough. 

Don't get divorced just because you don't feel like being married to your spouse anymore. Don't do the shit that celebrities in Hollywood do all the time. Just because you find your spouse boring and ugly doesn't mean that they actually are; maybe the problem is with your attitude. Marriage isn't just a fancy thing to do so you have an excuse to have a big party where you can invite all of your friends, show off how rich you are, and eat lots of cake. The point of marriage is to start a livelong commit with someone you trust, care for, and consider even more important yourself. So don't bother getting married just because you want to spend time with someone you think is super hot and who you enjoy having sex with. Of course, if they cheat on you, then you totally have the right to be pissed off. But with that exception, it's actually your responsibility to go out of your way to save your marriage if you feel like it's not going to last/you don't feel it's fun anymore. Being married isn't the same as having a longterm fuck buddy with tax benefits. It's about making a promise as an adult to another adult. 

Don't make promises you can't make. And don't treat the word "promise" carelessly. When you say, "I promise to do [INSERT WHATEVER HERE]", you better fucking mean it dude. The word "promise" isn't just a slang word to emphasize that you're treating something seriously. It's about treating and acting like that thing is serious. If you feel like you can't live up to promises that you make to people, just don't make them at all. Just nod your head and say ambiguous shit so that you don't trap yourself into making a promise other people are going to expect that you do.

Defending yourself is important, but sometimes it's actually better take the punishment and show that you're above whatever violence, meanness, and bro douchebagery is thrown against you. Any adult can throw a punch, but it takes a real adult to take a punch and not flinch. If someone tries to break you down by forcing you to do humiliating shit, humiliate them back by doing whatever it is that they want you to do plus extra. Do the extra, so that you show them, and the world, that nothing that is thrown against you will break you. So the world that you can't be broken. 

People talk all the time about how "family is important" and "look out for your friends". For sure, that's true. But you can't just do that. Because if you just do that, you're basically just building up your own tribe, and you'll eventually have the attitude that anyone who isn't in "your tribe" is someone who shouldn't give a shit about or, even worse, an enemy. And the last thing the world needs right now is more tribalism, in whatever form it is (nationality, ethnicity, race, religion, gender, sexuality geographic area, political ideology, citizenship/migration status, job/professional background, ice cream flavor preference, Twizzlers vs. Red Vines loyalty, etc.). In fact, the people you need to show the most love and compassion to are the people that hate you. Because those guys probably have lots of reasons - even if they're actually shitty reasons - to hate you. They're not expecting that you'll be nice to them. But you have to be nice to them. You have to be nice to them, because that's the only way that arguments, conflicts, wars, fighting, and just hatred in general can stop. Once you show the other side that you don't actually hate them, but that you're willing to hear them out and see things from their perspective, that's when the real opportunity for peace comes from. Real peace won't be achieved by exhausting each other through continuous fighting. Because even if you and your enemies stop fighting cuz you're both tired, eventually you'll do so again. The peace won't be a "real peace" so much as it's a "timeout". To stop the fighting, you have to demonstrate and show the other side that you're willing to see them as human beings, and in fact that you do see them as human beings. And if you do this, I promise you that most of the time, your "enemies" will actually respond positively. They'll do so, because, guess what, they are in fact human beings, and human beings do in fact respond to kindness most of the time. Unless you're fighting literal orcs from "Lord of the Rings", most of the time, the people you're willing to show some grace and consideration to will (a) be shocked that you're treating them not like shit even though they hate you (b) after they're shocked, they'll most likely start responding to you with kindness, just kind of naturally. Yeah, for sure, there's a risk they may try to double-cross you or exploit/take advantage of your kindness. But that's just a risk you're going to have to take. Because if you don't, even if you don't literally die or become exhausted from your fighting - even if you survive - you'll have to be fighting that fight for a long time, if not for the rest of your life. And no shit is that bad that it's worth fighting for forever."

The End of Chapter 5

Read the previous chapter here.